It's gonna be refreshing. To let it out, all the thoughts that got stucked in my head in the past months.
I met someone recently. Well he came to visit me for ten days, and I didn't think it'd become something like this, but it did. And I knew it for the first time I saw him at the airport.
But there was a continuously growing fear inside me. Is he going to hurt me? Does he feel the same? Is he honest?
As time passed by, I decided not to stress about it too much, play it cool, enjoy life. But somewhere in the middle of the "holiday" I reached a low point where I realized I started to feel something for him. And I didn't want to admit because I was way too scared of being hurt. I knew I got attached, and I thought, Damn it girl! You could've been better than that.
But I wasn't. And as the rest of the days have passed, I let this feeling grow inside me. On the last day I was really sad. Although I hoped he'd come back while he's away in Prague, deep in my heart I knew he won't come back to me.
And he didn't. Sometimes he didn't reply and of course it made me upset. Sometimes we argued because I didn't feel like he'd give me enough attention - an attention I could only require from a boyfriend, and that's where I failed to realize he is not my boyfriend. I only wished.
So as I didn't want to push him away from me with my behaviour, I stopped expecting him to care more about me.
I also stopped daydreaming about him after a while. As I don't have the money to travel yet, I didn't want to hurt myself with imagining things, I wanted to be more realistic about him, so I didn't make up dreams about us being together soon in July.
I just let him go, and as time passes by, maybe we will meet one day. We had so much fun and we were on the same wavelenght so to say in a short period of time, i think it could be a great thing between us.
It'll only depends on the two of us. Only time can answer it.
2014. június 8., vasárnap
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